D E N I A L

I read a piece about DENIAL today...

How we grow up in a world that is abusive, maybe we are bullied or experienced trauma & we don’t have the ability to deal with these situations at the time they are happening.

So we put this blanket of DENIAL over us. That’s the best way we can cope at that time.

However, this blanket also covers up our feelings, emotions, our internal guidance systems, our intuitions.

Then this DENIAL blanket is so thick around us that we don’t see it when we are in abusive situations.

We allow ourselves to be in harmful situations without knowing it’s harmful.

We tolerate pain and abuse without seeing how unacceptable this is because we have this blanket of DENIAL around us.

You can’t just take the blanket off all at once, you have to slowly remove piece by piece.

This last year, I’ve been taking the blanket of DENIAL off.

Yesterday, I walked out of a fitness class.
The environment & teacher was abusive to my body.

I’ve been to this class & teacher many times & never found her warm, welcoming or kind. But I tolerated it, until yesterday.

This morning, I realized, I am no longer able to tolerate abusive people, abusive environments, abusive teachers.

As I unravel my DENIAL blanket, I’m crafting a world that is kind & caring for me.
Then everything in my outside world has to start reflecting that also.

I don’t have to swim in the river of DENIAL anymore.
I can look at it, see it for what it is, and even if other people don’t see it the way I do it.
I honor me.
I don’t have to judge it.
Just, thank you,
This isn’t for me anymore.

Thank you, please forgive me, I’m sorry 🙏